After an in-depth meta analysis, and extensive survey (OK, I hit google and had a chat with 4 colleagues), it can be revealed that the top 5 "Social Media Bores" are:
1. The Braggart: This guy can't buy a replacement lightbulb without telling you why he's got the best. Expect: Holiday bookings and new-car photos
2. "Guess where I am?": She can't help but tell you where she is, regardless of how dull it is.
Expect: "In Slough", "At the local shop", "Entering purgatory... where to next?"
3. The cat bore: Yes, we know you've got a cat, you use him as your profile picture.
Expect: Pictures considerably less funny/cute/well captioned than those already littering facebook
4. The Cliffhanger: An Unspecified emote - and we're all supposed to guess what's wrong?
Expect: "Feeling really sad", "Great news!" (and then nothing)
5. Captain Gullible: Is there a hoax this chap hasn't swallowed hook line & sinker?
Expect: "Did you know water drains anticlockwise in Australia?"
Now comes the hard part. I want you to forgive these guys. I ask you this, not in the spirit of the holiday season, but because I have discovered that it is virtually impossible not to be a social media bore. Observe:
So, if you do want to say something you might think twice about tweeting, maybe hang on, and do it over a beer - or don't say it at all!
If you are interested, here's some of the research I didn't do:
- Try not to follow escort agencies on twitter if anyone might be watching you
- I'm told one of my colleagues once got told off by his mother for something he said on Facebook - didn't even make the local news though!
- Huffington Post: Facebook Bores